Whatever happens his love is strong
by sadobsession23
Summary: Something happens, something that changes Arthurs and Alfreds lives forever! How on Earth will they move on? UsUk, PruCan later on , and some FrUk. Please read! this is my first published fanfic and the summary sucks.
1. Intro

"Leave me alone! Don't you see I don't want to be here?" Arthur flipped the tray that the nurse had set in front of him, "You think I'm crazy because I don't want to live! But you are all wrong! So wrong you cannot comprehend!" He stood on the bed the white gown going down to his mid thighs, "There comes a time when you've run out of hope!"

The nurse grabbed a syringe, "Arthur calm down," she commanded, "I don't want to do this."

He laughed, "Go ahead! It's not like I care! I'm worthless as it is! In fact I'd love it if you knocked me out! Release me from this hell and send me to another!" He plopped down and whispered, "I'm sure he'd love to see that…" The nurse lowered the syringe and began to clean the mess he had made.

"You need more confidence," She went to pick up the now bruised apple but his hand reached it before hers.

"Bella, you are very sweet do you know that?" She smiled kindly taking the apple from him, "I'll be right back with a new tray, and don't destroy it next time, okay?" He watched her as she walked out, moving onto the bed. He grabbed a pillow and watched the door, willing it to never open again.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"So do you understand why you are here?" asked the therapist giving a slight nod to the head.

"Yes I know why," Arthur let out a sigh, if it wasn't for that idiot Gilbert he wouldn't even be here right now, he would be floating in the heavens protecting his Alfred.

"After this you do not have to return, but I suggest you do. My name is Francis Bonnefoy, and I will be the one to help you through this great time of stress," Francis gave a curt nod, "Of course that is if you wish to return for more help."

"I guess I'll come, I don't see why not. I better waste the time I'm forced to have on Earth then sit here doing nothing," Arthur sighed again and looked at the barred windows, _just how many people have tried to jump out of those windows?_ He thought.

"Now I will ask again, but this time do not answer just yes or no, do you understand why you are here?" Francis looked at his pad as he began to write.

Arthur gave an uninterested glance at the 'Doctor' before beginning, "I am here because the court claimed that I am mentally stable enough to look after myself but I must go to see a therapist at least once before the ruling is official, until then I am to stay at that crazy house."

"I already know the legal reasons, tell me what I don't know, the reasons you tried to hang yourself, tell me so I can understand."

"I don't feel comfortable telling anyone, why should I?" Arthur got shocked that someone could be so ignorant. The doctors should have told him all that he said, he had stayed there two weeks, and for the first week all he would say was that he had hurt his love, that he was worthless and should die. The second week he hardly said anything except what was necessary. "The reasons I have are quiet clear! I hurt the one I love and now I must feel the pain that they felt, but you don't have to worry about suicide living is a much more severe punishment!" Arthur calmed down and realized he was clenching his fists. He stood up to help release the anxiety and began pacing around the room. "The worst part is that it wasn't my fault, it was Matthews… I didn't do anything but now he won't even talk to me…" Arthur sat down in a red velvet chair and looked at Francis. He had said more than he had intended to, and to a stranger as well. _Wonderful_ he thought _just wonderful!_

"You see that is the answer I want, one with feeling and passion!" Francis proclaimed, "What did you do to hurt your love?" Francis had realized that to get him to talk he had to make him angry; he couldn't control his mouth then.

"I told you it was not my fault, how was I supposed to know the difference in such a short amount of time. They're twins for a reason. There was something off about him, I could tell it was not him… but it happened so fast…" Arthur did not want to lose his temper again so he dug his fingers into the chair but it was so smooth and velvety he couldn't get a grip on it.

Francis noticed and held out a ball filled with colorful beads that had an easily graspable outside, "Take this I'd prefer you terrorizing it then my new chairs." It had a strange smell but if it would help at all to keep the anger locked down Arthur didn't care. "Once you have settled down you should continue we still have a half-hour to go, and then you can leave," Francis set back in his chair examining the young brit. _His eyebrows might be thick but he seems fairly attractive_ the Frenchman began to let his mind wander, until Arthur spoke again.

"Fine I'll tell you but only to get out of here, I have things I need to do like check the mail and prepare for tea time," he looked out of the window for the fourth time that morning, "I had gone to Alfred's house to celebrate his birthday early, I'm always irritated on his birthday, but I'm not sure why." Arthur paused to squeeze the little ball and collect his thoughts, "It was July 1st and I had just let myself in when Matthew came up to me, he told me to go take a seat and that he would go get Alfred." Author stared intently at the window fighting back the anger and tears, "He came back, but I didn't know it was-"

"Excuse me doctor but there is a call waiting for you," said a young Russian woman.

"Okay then Natalia, excuse me Arthur I'll be right back." Francis stood and left the room, leaving the notepad on the seat. Author sat there for a while, he really wanted to see what was written, but he knew that was unlike a gentleman, so he sat there waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

He sat there rapidly tightening and releasing his grip on the ball. "I can't wait any longer," Arthur leaned over to grab the pad when suddenly Francis burst into the room.

"Well that was the judge on the phone, you are free to leave!" Francis stepped aside to let the man out of the room, "Will you be coming again?"

"I don't see why not, might as well having someone to vent to… Oh! Is it okay if I keep this?" Arthur held up the ball and Francis laughed.

"Why of course! Oh and I forgot to mention, it may be best for you to raise something small, so that way you aren't alone, maybe a bird or hamster?" Francis looked pleased with himself after all, he had thought that up on the spot. Arthur left more annoyed than he had been when he had arrived. Francis seemed too happy, but everyone did these days, the nurses with their ignorant smiles, and doctors with their know-it-all laughs. He walked out of the building and headed into the city, looking for a pet store.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Arthur checked his watch, _freedom is good_ he thought, but he couldn't help remembering how Gilbert had found him belt around his neck hanging in a tree. It made him depressed thinking about it as he headed home from the pet store a cage with a rabbit in one hand and the rabbit supplies in the other. _He and I are not even friends that damn peeper. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here right now!_ Of course now was not the time for Arthur to be getting angry, it would just scare the doe. Still he couldn't help felling anger towards the ignorant German; he had no business looking into people's yards and then proclaiming that he had, "helped an un-awesome, undeserving, idiot, tea-lover." He looked up at the evening sky and his frown slipped away. It would be a long time before he smiled or laughed again, but he didn't care, honestly he didn't care much about anything anymore, except Alfred.

Later on, in a dream of a memory

_"Dude, why aren't you eating your burger, are you full?" America stopped his rant about super heroes to examine his friend._

_ "I-I, never mind," Britain faced the other way, "You wouldn't understand."_

_ "Hey, come-on that's not fair! I'm the hero you can tell me anything!" America grabbed Britain's shoulder, "Anything… really… I won't judge you…"_

_ "Whenever I'm around you I feel… different, I feel weird in my stomach but in a good way. I feel happier, everything is easier, and life is more colorful. I just don't know," Britain stopped walking, "It's just me isn't it? I'm going crazy aren't I?"_

_ "No you're not, I've been worrying too, I sorta feel the same way, dude." America looked up and leaned slightly closer to Britain, having to slouch to make up for the height difference._

Then he awoke, Arthur got up shaking and crying, "Of course it was a dream, it couldn't be real," he headed to the kitchen, "If it was real I'd be happy!" he was wailing now, but he didn't care if it woke the neighbors. He shakily opened the knife drawer and pulled out a large knife, "Why couldn't it be real? Why? Why? Why?" He held the knife to his wrist.

"Mein Gott Arthur! Can you not here me?" Ludwig came up and grabbed his hands, "If you do this you'll be selfish and a much worse person than Matthew!" Ludwig had him pinned to the wall, "Do you understand? You called me here to keep you from hurting yourself, but when I'm not here you have to do that on your own! Can I trust you with that?" The knife fell to the floor and Ludwig released his grip. "You need to be strong," Arthur sank to the floor reaching for the knife but Ludwig kicked it under the table. He then sat down next to him, "It may not seem like it now but there will be a time when you are happy again I promise you that much," Ludwig sat there while Arthur sobbed on his shoulder. Their friendship seemed unlikely to most but they each needed a shoulder to lean on, someone who could understand each other's pain, how they couldn't show weakness in front of the others.

Next Day

"Oh I see… Well then we are lucky you were there… Yes I'll be sure to mention it… Do not worry… Thank you… Good bye" Arthur sat in the reception room listening to one half of the conversation that was, obviously, about him. "Arthur, please come in. Francis motioned to him from the door, as Ludwig walked out giving him a curt nod. "Your friend, Ludwig, told me about last night," he waited a moment for Arthurs reaction, but there was nothing. He continued, "It seemed to me that something set you off, what might that have been?" He waited but Arthur only looked at the ground. "You mustn't be so shy; you have beautiful green eyes, could I see them?" Author squeezed the little ball harder. He didn't want to talk about last night. It had been a moment of weakness. Then again he was having many moments of weakness lately. "Do you not want to talk? Fine then write about it, draw about it but don't leave me in the dark." He handed him the notepad and pencil, "Don't be afraid to look back all of the information is on you." Arthur looked up, anger in his eyes, "I have one notepad for each patient, so that way they may know what I think of them," Arthur flipped back the page to reveal yesterday's information.

Arthur Kirkland

~ Straight forward

~ Most likely unstable

~ Still needs time to recover

~Needs an outlet for stress and anger

~ All that I have seen supports that he is slightly unstable and blames whatever has happened on himself. He will need to be kept under a watchful eye for the time being. There is still a chance that he will get better, time alone or with friends is the best for him right now.

He turned to today's page.

~ Last night he had a tried suicide attempt

~ Unresponsive, even to me teasing him

Arthur flipped to the next page and began to draw, at first it seemed to be the shape of two ovals but soon the ovals turned to wings, the wings connected to a body, and the body was limply falling. The angle had no face nor a halo, but tangled hair and a book. It was obvious who the angle was, but Francis couldn't figure out the book.

"If you expected blood and murder than you were dead wrong, sir" Arthur looked up with watery eyes, "I am a fallen angle, I used to soar high in the sky, before everything that happened; now I'm lost and abandoned."

"Oh but you are not abandoned, you have me, and your friend who I was talking to, he cares too! You must stop thinking that the one you loved was the only one who cared!"

"Correction, love, the one I love." Arthur looked to the window again and rested his head on his hand. "I'm sure I'll become a usual in this seat, you'll have to put me in that mental hospital and give me meds to make me stop screaming." He sighed this room wasn't that comforting, the color theme being red and brown. Royal colors almost.

"If you are going to speak like that then it is bound to happen." Francis looked out of the window with Arthur, mirroring to make him feel more confident, "Besides what I've seen what do you like to do?" Francis had to make him feel safe here, without becoming a regular and he had plans. If one plan failed he'd use another. "It'll help me… figure you out."

"Figure me out!" Arthur stood, "No one can figure me out! When they try they end up more distant then they started. I wish I could say I'm an open book! But I'm not! Never have been, never could be!" He sat down, he knew he was acting like a jerk but he was irritated, so irritated he couldn't help but act sour.

Francis had to change the subject if he wanted to keep Arthur calm, "Do you have any family?" Francis stayed calm and prepared himself for another outburst.

"I have a little brother, Peter, he is twelve years old," he waited for Francis to say something, but there was only silence so he continued, "But when I was 18 I couldn't support him and our parents had just recently died. Child services came and took him away, and then he was adopted by Tino and Berwald. He gets to visit me a lot now, but I haven't seen him since that cursed day." Arthur stopped, sighed and waited for Francis to say something.

"I see, you have experienced much loss lately, I don't think anyone could relate to you on that level." Francis looked out of the corner of his eye to check on Arthur. He was no longer looking out of the window but at the floor. A tear hit the floor creating a disturbance in the silence. "Oh, poor child, legally you are an adult, but inside you are still young," he handed him a tissue, thinking _the younger the better._ They sat with an ever-growing quietness, until Francis' watch began to beep. "Your time is up you can leave, but first I would like to talk to you and your friend." Arthur walked to the door and motioned for Ludwig to come. He stood and walked in slightly confused. "I am going to prescribe him some depression pills, and some sleeping medication to help him stay asleep," Francis nodded confirming it for himself, "Is he normally moody?"

Arthur clenched his fists, "It depends on what you mean, he has always had a short temper and when he gets angry it's like a bomb going off," Ludwig glimpsed at Arthur, he hadn't talked to anyone (except Francis) since he had lost it. He seemed closer to speaking now, but he also seemed less stable.

"I don't have a short temper…" he whispered, eyes locked on his shoes. His eyebrows drew together and he gritted his teeth.

Ludwig let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, Arthur final said something. "Yeah, sure monsieur," Francis turned to Ludwig, "Natalia will give you the medication, make sure he takes the depression pills twice a day and the sleep pills right before he sleeps, I'll see you in two days, honhonhon, goodbye." _If he wasn't my patient and if he wasn't suicidal he would be very cute. Maybe when this fiasco is over he could come to my place._


	4. Chapter 3

"It's almost dinner time, what do you want to eat?" Ludwig began to head towards the kitchen, to let Arthur cook was suicide itself.

"I'm not hungry," Arthur went over to the rabbit cage to check its food and water.

"You skipped breakfast, refused lunch, now dinner! No, I won't let you starve yourself." Ludwig went over and grabbed Arthur's arm, "You're going to sit in that kitchen and eat every last bite!" then he began to drag Arthur away.

"LET GO OF ME YOU WANKER! I'M SERIOUS!" Arthur began to fight back, desperately trying to get to the rabbit cage, but he soon gave up and allowed himself to be dragged into the kitchen. Ludwig then, using a belt, strapped him to a chair. "Bloody wanker…" Arthur began to sing under his breath, "Bring on the fire, bring on the hell. Set everything ablaze so not a trace remains. Hehehehe…" Arthur put his focus on getting out of the belt, "Bring on the fire, bring on the hell-"

"Stop that," Ludwig pointed the ladle at Arthur, who was still singing, "It's annoying. I get that it's hard for you but you don't have to be so selfish." Arthur stopped mid flame and remained quiet while Ludwig finished cooking. "There it's done," Ludwig undid the belt and placed the beef stew in front of Arthur.

He mumbled a quick "Thank you" and began to slowly eat.

"After you eat you'll need to clean up and take you medication." Ludwig sat down opposite of Arthur in the seat closest to the entryway.

"Okay… and Ludwig?" Arthur looked up, "Thank you… for everything. I really mean it." Ludwig just nodded, _has he forgotten that I owe him?_ He certainly hoped not, but at the same time he hoped so.

_Dreaming of memories_

Britain continued walking down the park path, he had said he would meet him here half-past twelve, and not to eat beforehand, but no one was here. "Yo! Dude! This way," Britain turned to see America, who was waving from the top of a hill.

"I hope your surprise is worthwhile, America!" Britain yelled laughing as he ran to where America was standing.

America laughed, "Would I have called you here if it wasn't?"

"I suppose not," he said panting as he reached the hill top, "but you and I have different views on worthwhile."

"Well I hope you like it, I even asked Italy to help me." America grabbed Britain's wrist, "You don't see it yet do you?"

"See wha-" he stopped short. In front of him was a sparkling, crystal-clear lake, and by it a picnic. "Wow, I-I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything." America pulled Britain over to the picnic blanket. It was shaded by a convenient tree. There they sat, eating and talking, eventually rolling up their pant legs and wadding out into the lake. Britain was heading out further when he reached a dip in the sand; he hadn't noticed it in time and fell into deep water.

"A-America!" he was struggling to keep his head above water, "H-Help! I can't s-swim!" America began wadding towards him, as fast as he could, but the water was choppy and hard to move through.

"Hold on dude!" America leaped forward in a frantic attempt to catch Britain's hand. But something changed unlike what really happened he missed, and Britain sank, his chest burning for air. He floated downward, praying for a chance to live as it al faded to darkness.

Arthur's eyes shot open, he was awake in his bedroom. He remembered that day. He had been so scared that he was going to drown. Then Alfred, being a hero, saved him, he grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the water. Arthur sat up and placed a hand on his face, there he felt a trail of tears, soundlessly flowing down his checks. He got up and headed to the living room, where he opened the cage and picked up the doe, gently stroking its fur. There he sat for fifteen minutes before he got extremely drowsy again and was worried he would pass out. He put the doe in the cage, and barley managed to lie down on the couch before he fainted.

Morning

"Arthur," Ludwig gave him a slight shove, "Hello? You aren't dead are you?"

"Huh?" Arthur sleepily opened his eyes, "Morning Ludwig, do you have any idea why I'm on the couch?" Arthur sat up. He had no recollection of the night after he went to sleep (thanks to the meds).

"I have no idea," Ludwig offered a hand to help him up but he just sat there like he was waiting for something. Then the doorbell rang, "I'll get it." Ludwig walked to the door while Arthur still sat like a statue, thinking.

"Guten tag Kiku, what brings you here?"  
"Oh Ludwig-san, I'm here to see Arthur, I heard he was back and I wanted to make sure he was okay." Kiku gave a slight bow to Ludwig and entered the house scanning the room for Arthur. Arthur stood, looking sloppy in his oversized green shirt and blue-green plaid pants.

"Hello Kiku, how have you been?" Arthur walked over to Kiku, trying to look as put together as possible.

"I've been fine, but, um, Arthur-san, you are still in your night clothes." Kiku felt nervous, _is he still sane?_

"Oh, well it's still early isn't it?" Arthur glanced at the grandfather clock, his jaw dropped. "It's 2:23! How the bloody hell did I sleep so long!" Arthur ran to his room but, once he reached the hallway he turned on his heel, "I'll be right back."

"Well, that was strange…" Kiku commented, "So you were here but he wasn't awake?"

"It's kind of hard to explain. I'm sure he would want to tell you on his own though," Ludwig sighed. The sleeping pills worked excellently, in fact to well; he couldn't be spending half of his day asleep he still needed to go to work.

They each stood there in silence waiting for Arthur, "So, how have you been lately Ludwig-san?" Kiku asked turning his attention from the hallway.

"Oh, I've been fine how about you?"

"Good, I guess." The silence came again except this time it was more awkward.

Arthur strode out of his room "Sorry about that, so why are you here Kiku?"

"I came to make sure you were okay, I heard that you had been in a hospital. Then yesterday someone told me that you were out so I came over to see what had happened."

Arthur looked confused, "Was it Gilbert who told you?" It would seem likely that he would tell everyone about what happened.

"No it was Matthew," Arthur's and Ludwig's faces went pale, "he told me to tell you that he hopes you get better soon. What's wrong? Did I say something offensive?" Kiku began to panic, "If I did I didn't mean to!"

"You didn't do anything, and if you see Matthew soon tell him I said to stay away from me," Arthur folded his arms, "He did something unforgivable, no matter what he does he won't gain my forgiveness."

"Oh, well, what did he do?" Kiku seemed interested to hear.

"Uh… I really don't want to talk about it…" Arthur's checks flushed with anger.

"Oh, sorry I was just wondering. Arthur-san I almost forgot, here is your book on Europe's history." Kiku handed him the book, which was wrapped in brown paper. "It was very interesting."

"Thanks Kiku, I'm glad you liked it." Arthur walked to his bookshelf while Kiku thought _you don't look glad, just miserable._

"Well, I have to go now; I have a meeting with Yao-san. I hope you get better soon." Kiku headed to the door.

"Be safe, Kiku," declared Ludwig, walking behind him. As soon as the door closed Ludwig turned to face Arthur, "You need to go shopping, and I need to go home for a while."

"You deserve freedom, don't worry I'll be okay." Arthur walked into his kitchen, "When will you be back?" he called.

"Around seven, if that works for you," Ludwig began to leave the house. "If you need anything…"

"I know, I know, don't worry I'll be alright." He began opening and closing cupboards trying to create a shopping list.


End file.
